Sonic the Hedgehog mortified as co-workers discover his past

THE moment Sonic The Hedgehog has dreaded finally came yesterday when office colleagues discovered who he used to be. 

Now a senior digital media analyst, the 45-year-old arrived at his London workplace to find a picture of his younger days in the Green Hills Zone on his monitor.

He said: “It was bound to come out eventually, I suppose.

“I mean I’ve changed, physically – the spikes are shorter, I’m more of a dark sapphire than a cobalt blue now, and I’ve put on 12 stone – but it’s still unmistakably me.

“It was the 90s, it was a crazy time, I was taking home literally hundreds of gold rings for a few minutes’ work and don’t talk to me about the chaos emeralds, but that was a long time ago.

“We all have a past, but that’s not who I am any more. Now can we please get back to work?”

Sonic added: “I’m just glad that I’ve been able to move on.

“I bumped into Crash Bandicoot the other day, outside Wood Green tube station, still babbling about breaking back into the business.