“This Time I Want My Own Drawer,” Kate Tells Wills

KATE Middleton will rekindle her relationship with Prince William if she gets her own underpants drawer at Clarence House, the Daily Mash has learned.

She's probably going to need room for this hat too

Friends of Middleton say she wants a real commitment from the Prince and a drawer for her dainties, delicates and sleeping-in t-shirts would be an important first step.

"William has dozens of drawers and not once in three years did he offer even half of one of them to Kate," said a close friend.

"Seriously, you should see his dressing room. You need a step ladder to reach the drawers right at the top.

"That's probably where he puts things he doesn't wear very much. I think Kate would want a drawer much closer to the floor.

"It doesn't have to be huge. It's not like she'll be keeping jumpers there. Just big enough for a couple of bras, some panties, a few t-shirts and her saddle."

The friend added: "She also wants William to be more generous with his time. Which means oral. Lots and lots of oral."