Townshend researching book about swearing at children

PETE Townshend is working on a book about how little children react when you tell them to fuck off.

Townshend said his fouled mouthed-outburst at a seven year-old girl and her subsequent reaction had ‘exposed the dark netherworld of innocence and profanity’.

The Who guitarist, who swears at children as part of a campaign to prevent swearing at children, added: “I want to explore the way in which their faces change when an angry old man says ‘fuck off’ or ‘go fuck yourself’ or perhaps ‘what the fuck do you know, you seven year-old piece of shit?’.

“And then I want to turn it into a rock opera that will seem to last for days.”

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Cardinal admits trying to touch other man's penis while kissing him on the mouth

CARDINAL Keith O’Brien has denied being gay, insisting he just wanted to touch erect penises.

A spokesman said: “He thinks that’s where he was going wrong.

“He had perfectly normal, understandable sexual urges, it’s just that every time he tried to grab a penis, it was attached to a man.

“And he only kissed them on the mouth because ‘if you do it right it makes the penises bigger’.”