THE enemies of Russell Brand have met in tunnels below Denver airport to celebrate the demonetisation of his YouTube channel.
The Ukranian prime minister, the creators of the Covid lockdown and representatives of the shadowy organisation which controls humanity chuckled as events unfolded exactly as they planned them.
Drug company CEO Norman Steele said: “Brand is, of course, completely innocent. But his hard-hitting, painstakingly-researched videos were getting too close to the truth.
“As a conspiracy theorist with an internet audience in the thousands, Brand had become too powerful. Our $1.4 trillion industry was on the verge of collapse. When he spotted the telltale signs that the Hawaii wildfires were caused by a space laser, we had to act. ”
A representative of the NWO said: “Brand is finished. We made sure of it by arranging allegations we can’t guarantee will be proven in a court of law. Nobody can come back from that.
“If only he’d been vaccinated we could have used the 5G network to activate the nanomachines in his bloodstream and take over his brainstem. But he was too smart for us.”
Ukrainian president Vladimir Zelensky added: “Brand uncovered the truth; the war is a scam to fleece the US of billions because there’s no new Paddington film to dub. He had to be silenced. Nothing personal, Russ.”