William and Kate prevent imminent war with Bhutan

BRITAIN and Bhutan have moved back from the brink of war after a visit by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

The two countries were poised to begin a bloody conflict at midnight, but a fragile peace has been declared after Kate arrived in the tiny mountainous country wearing a lovely purple dress.

A Foreign Office spokesman said: “ Without the Royal Family Britain would be in a constant state of war.

“These visits help other nations realise that Britain is both immensely powerful and incredibly lovely.”

The spokesman added: “The Duchess’s wardrobe is the most vital element of Britain’s defence capability.”

After their visit to Bhutan, the Royal couple will prevent a war with the dangerous Caribbean island of Mustique.

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Thousands of Boris supporters don’t know his surname

ONLY 13 percent of people who support Boris Johnson are aware that his surname is Johnson.

According to a survey, most of those polled assumed that he did not have a surname at all.

Boris fan Nikki Hollis, said: “That’s what always appealed to me about Boris. He’s not like Cameron and Osborne with their vast, inherited surnames. Boris has made it on his own without a surname.”

She added: “It’s like that Blue Peter dog, Shep. He made it on his own too. Plus he was all shaggy and friendly and, like Boris, not too grand to run after a stick.”

Boris fan Tom Booker said: “We all know the BBC is the Boris Bashing Corporation – if his name was ‘Johnson’, then it’d be the BJBC, so you’re obviously telling lies.”

However, Boris voter Norman Steele admitted: “It’s like finding out Prince is called Prince Smedley or Sade is actually Sade Turnbull. I feel slightly betrayed.”

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