William and Kate prevent imminent war with Bhutan

BRITAIN and Bhutan have moved back from the brink of war after a visit by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

The two countries were poised to begin a bloody conflict at midnight, but a fragile peace has been declared after Kate arrived in the tiny mountainous country wearing a lovely purple dress.

A Foreign Office spokesman said: “ Without the Royal Family Britain would be in a constant state of war.

“These visits help other nations realise that Britain is both immensely powerful and incredibly lovely.”

The spokesman added: “The Duchess’s wardrobe is the most vital element of Britain’s defence capability.”

After their visit to Bhutan, the Royal couple will prevent a war with the dangerous Caribbean island of Mustique.

Thousands of Boris supporters don’t know his surname

ONLY 13 percent of people who support Boris Johnson are aware that his surname is Johnson.

According to a survey, most of those polled assumed that he did not have a surname at all.

Boris fan Nikki Hollis, said: “That’s what always appealed to me about Boris. He’s not like Cameron and Osborne with their vast, inherited surnames. Boris has made it on his own without a surname.”

She added: “It’s like that Blue Peter dog, Shep. He made it on his own too. Plus he was all shaggy and friendly and, like Boris, not too grand to run after a stick.”

Boris fan Tom Booker said: “We all know the BBC is the Boris Bashing Corporation – if his name was ‘Johnson’, then it’d be the BJBC, so you’re obviously telling lies.”

However, Boris voter Norman Steele admitted: “It’s like finding out Prince is called Prince Smedley or Sade is actually Sade Turnbull. I feel slightly betrayed.”