William Hague hoping to get blame for Jolie divorce

WILLIAM Hague is keen to be implicated in the break-up of Angelina Jolie’s marriage.

The former foreign secretary, who worked with the actress on UN business, has been dropping unsubtle hints that one of the world’s most desired women may have lain awake at night thinking about him.

He said: “Nothing ever happened but she is, after all, just a woman and when they see the Haguemaker laying shit down in a high stakes meeting about water purification tablets, their pupils dilate and they start touching their hair.

“I once lent her a copy of my biography of William Pitt the Younger, which she apparently found to be quite the page-turner.

“It did get a bit awkward when I asked for it back though, as she had assumed it was a gift. I had to explain that it was my personal copy and that I’d made some pencil notes in the back about typographical errors.

“I think that impressed her.”

Hague’s wife Ffion said: “I’ve been humoring him about this but let’s be honest, he is a bit of a homunculus.”