Old jar of lime pickle desperately needs to go in bin

THE ancient jar of lime pickle in your fridge door must be thrown away immediately, experts have confirmed.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies said the pickle has long since ‘gone a bit weird’ and is not edible even if you give it a stir.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “That pickle is older than your dog. Ask yourself, how many times a year do I actually consume lime pickle?

“You threw out the ambitiously-purchased harissa pasta, so why cling to the pickle dream?

“The bin is only a few feet away. Do it.”

Professor Brubaker added that there may even be another opened jar of lime pickle kicking around in the back of the fridge, bearing the label of a corner shop chain that went bust in 2011.

Householder Stephen Malley said: “I’ve got a jar of lime pickle that I call ‘Old Greenie’. We’ve been through two divorces together.

“These scientists don’t think of the emotional bond you can have with out-of-date condiments.”