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Win an evening round Johnny Depp's gaff!

WANT to spend an evening of Hollywood glamour with a middle-aged bloke smashed on red wine punching kitchen cabinets? Enter our competition!

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Tories strangely less popular when media not fellating them 24/7

BORIS Johnson and Rishi Sunak’s plunging popularity could be the result of the media not endlessly sucking their dicks, experts have agreed.

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