Boa constrictor gives birth on same day as Kate

A NINE-FOOT boa constrictor is celebrating after having a litter of 23 tiny snakes on the day the royal baby was born.

Female boa Emma Bradford said: “At the same time Kate was in labour, I was firing out a massive, healthy brood of squirming snakelets.

“How funny to think that my scaly, mouse-eating offspring will share a birthday with the future king of England.”

Bradford, whose ovoviviparous nature means that she has live young instead of laying eggs, added: “I wonder if we’ll get sort some of message from the Queen, or maybe a few premium bonds.”

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Storm over London may be connected to doom-laden event

THE lightning which cracked the skies over London last night may have been caused by an event which heralds a new dominion of evil.

The capital was ravaged by a fierce electrical storm, prompting experts to suggest the universe was warning mankind that a malevolent entity had emerged into the world.

Independent researcher Keith Jennings said: “Something happened in London yesterday. I can’t say for certain what it is, but I have a strong sense that evil is now among us.

“We do not yet know what form it will take or what its name will be. But I suspect it will rise to become the head of some massively rich and influential organisation.”

He added: “I shall keep looking for clues.”