THE UK is not enjoying a weekend of rain, wind and cool temperatures as much as it anticipated it would last week.
After five sweltering days checking the BBC weather app waiting for the glorious miracle of sky-water to arrive, the country awoke to rain-lashed windows and was unaccountably down about it.
Ryan Whittaker of Dunstable said: “On Thursday I lay spreadeagled in my garden and prayed for rain. I begged for it. But now it’s here, it’s as shit as ever.
“I’m stumping around inside, miserable, looking out there thinking ‘Call this a summer?’ and ‘That’s my barbecue ruined’, when yesterday I ate inside with the curtains closed because the heat was so f**king unbearable.
“Last week I swore I’d dance around in the rain, clad only in boxers, whooping with delight at its invigorating kiss on my burnt shoulders. Instead I’ve just run out to the bin holding a plastic bag over my head.
“Though I suppose it will ruin everyone’s weekend at Latitude. Ah, that’s put a smile on my face.”