Cats admit perverse love of heat

CAT are incredibly keen on high temperatures despite having thick pelts, it has emerged.

Four-year-old cat Julian Cook confessed a desire to lie sprawled in direct sunlight during the coming heat wave, ideally in a mostly-glass room with all the radiators on.

He said: “My love of extreme heat freaks everyone out, especially when they see dogs who generally have lighter coats but look completely fucked when it’s even moderately warm.

“I love to be super hot because I get trippy visions, like in a Native American sweat lodge. It’s way better than catnip and you don’t get the headachey moody feeling afterwards.”

Brown-and-white cat Susan Traherne said: “My attitude to intense sunshine is ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you really sleepy’.

“When I’m lying spread-eagled in a greenhouse in July people ask me ‘are you too hot?’ or even start discussing among themselves whether I might be dead.

“But for me there is no ‘too hot’. It’s another unexplainable part of the feline condition, like the weird shit we do with mice.”