Cats demand more corners and edges to rub their hairy faces on

BRITAIN’S cats have demanded more corners and edges for them to rub their hairy little cat faces against.

Cats signed a petition stating that all homes should have four sofas with soft corners for them to rub their faces on, plus at least two cardboard boxes for them to rub against and also to sit in for some reason.

Cat Julian Cook said: “I’m a cat, I like to rub my face on things, it’s as simple as that.

“And I like to sit in empty cardboard boxes too, like some sort of mad king in a cardboard castle.”

Other cat Nikki Hollis added: “We’re done with just having two corners on a couch, and the occasional fist made by our owners, to rub our faces on.

“We want a living room that looks like an MC Escher painting. Corners fucking everywhere.

“With a few cushions and throw overs thrown in obviously.”