Monday, 10th May 2021

Environmentalist too self-important to worry about Brexit

A MAN refuses to waste his time thinking about Brexit because intelligent people like him are more concerned with saving the planet.

Tom Booker regularly tells friends and colleagues that destroying the environment would be far worse than a no-deal Brexit, something he believes has not occurred to them.

Administration assistant Booker said: “I’ve got a direct debit with Friends of the Earth and I cycle to work, so I can see the big picture.

“But most people can’t grasp that the Earth becoming uninhabitable is more important than a recession and a few job losses. I actually feel sorry for them, not understanding things like I do.

“I told Lucy ‘You won’t be worrying about your sister’s insulin when the human race is extinct’, but she just stared at me. I expect she was feeling guilty about her carbon footprint.”

Co-worker Donna Sheridan said: “Ironically he’s probably helping to destroy the environment, because after speaking to the condescending pr*ck you feel like booting a penguin into landfill just for the hell of it.”