Sunday, 18th April 2021

Everyone on country walk pissed off with everyone else on country walk

ALL the people who have headed to a local beauty spot for a countryside walk are resentfully glaring at all the other people who have done the same thing. 

Families getting away from all this Covid nonsense with a nice tramp through the woods are tutting judgmentally at other families, who are selfishly ignoring pandemic regulations to invade rural areas.

Julian Cook said: “The car park of the Rambler’s Retreat was absolutely full by 10am and I had to leave the Range Rover in a passing place up the road. So bloody irresponsible.

“There’s nothing else to do in lockdown, so we thought we’d head out for a bit of a wander. Except, just like the last three weekends, it’s been absolutely ruined by all these thoughtless idiots.

“We’re just going to stay home next weekend. Or that’s what we’re telling everyone, then we’ll sneak out while it’s nice and empty. Clever.”

Rural resident Susan Traherne said: “It’s nose-to-tail out there. We’re popping into Leeds for a stroll around the deserted streets instead.”