Greta Thunberg busted after teacher sees her on TV

TEENAGE climate activist Greta Thunberg is in deep shit after a teacher spotted her on television when she should have been in third-period maths.

Swedish educator Töm Bööker flipped his lid when he realised the deception.

Thunberg’s mother had phoned the school to say that Greta had a tummy ache and would not be in for up to seven weeks. The call is now suspected to have been made by Thunberg herself, while affecting a grown-up voice.

Bööker said: “Imagine my reaction when I saw her on television giving a speech. She thinks she’s got away with it, but she’s in a world of trouble when she gets back.

“It’s only her own time she’s wasting. Everybody else now knows how to find the missing angle in an isosceles triangle. She’ll have to catch up at the weekend.”

During a phone call, Thunberg’s mother said: “I – I mean Greta – still has a tummy ache and won’t be in for a few more days. She also doesn’t need any extra homework and she also doesn’t have to do PE any more.”

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Man who lives in tiny village accuses Londoners of 'living in a bubble'

A MAN who lives in a village with a population of 72 has accused people who live in a massive cosmopolitan city of being somehow separated from the real world.

Norman Steele, 60, claims that all eight million people who live in London are part of the ‘metropolitan elite’ and think exactly the same as each other, whereas he and his four mates in the local pub have many diverse opinions, despite having spent every evening together since 1989.

Steele said: “In London, everyone spends their time eating avocados with chopsticks and laughing at us. They never go anywhere else, unlike me who drives 12 miles to the nearest town every two weeks for a bit of shopping.

“They haven’t got a clue about the rest of the country, whereas I know everything that’s going on because I read it in the Daily Mail and then discuss it with my neighbour Jim. He went to Croydon once.

“Londoners are too busy having sex with sourdough croissants to understand the lives of real people like us.”

Londoner Tom Logan said: “Am I imaginary?”