MEMBERS of the public are suggesting extreme measures against Insulate Britain. Here’s what Britain’s closet fascists would like to do…
Restrain them with cable ties
Highly illegal, not to mention the fact that cable ties were the preferred restraint of Abu Ghraib guards, and remain popular with abductors and gangland torturers. Definitely no unhealthy sadistic power trip undertones here.
Run them over
Some drivers feel giving protesters a firm nudge with a Range Rover is okay; others think mowing them down like skittles is reasonable too. Letting the public decide the law on a whim is rarely a good idea, which would lead to the death penalty for most things and internment camps for teenagers.
Put them in the stocks
Tongue-in-cheek, or entirely serious? It’s hard to tell, but it makes a change from armchair Judge Dredds demanding ridiculous prison sentences, eg. 20 years for non-violent protesting, as if that would ever happen. Or repeating their beloved ancient cliche: ‘And throw away the key!’
Praise actual brutal regimes
Insulate Britain haters are creaming themselves over how China or North Korea would batter and probably torture the protestors, but why stop there? The Greeks could have cooked them alive in a metal bull and Vlad the Impaler could have put them on spikes. Imagining inhuman regimes is such a laugh.
Send in the army
The nutter’s solution to everything, but the police are already there and few generals want to get involved in manhandling middle-class greenies. Unless the idea is to shoot them, in which case you’re already in ‘homicidal South American dictator’ territory.
Urinate on them
An actual suggestion by one Daily Mail commenter. He wanted drivers to do it en masse, implying he’s more interested in organising a pervy ‘golden shower’ orgy than making sure ambulances get through.
