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Porn ruined by surprise Brummie accent 

AN otherwise enjoyable online sex clip has been ruined by the sudden and unexpected sound of a Birmingham accent, it has emerged.

Distressed porn-watcher Jack Browne is asking for compensation for the incident, which curtailed his masturbation session and made him fearful of any future nasty surprises.

Browne said: “I was watching a run-of-the-mill video about a plumber visiting a female resident, who unfortunately had no money to pay for his services.

“It was all going as you’d expect, and then her husband arrives home. Everyone looks shocked and then she says ‘Why don’t you join us, babe?’. Which would have been fine if she didn’t have the broadest Brummie accent I’ve ever had the misfortune to hear.

“It was awful. I instantly went limp. I slammed my phone down and had a long shower, scrubbing feverishly at my body to try and get the sound of it out of my head.

“Later, I double-checked the title and description. It didn’t have any trigger warnings about featuring people from Edgbaston, so I can’t imagine how many hundreds of people have been similarly blindsided.

“A Birmingham accent has no place in normal, wholesome hardcore MILF threesome porn. It’s disgusting and it should be banned.”