WALES, that blighted country clinging to England’s belly like a parasite, has imposed a nationwide limit of 20mph. Here’s what happened when I travelled there:
‘Croeso i Gymru’ says the sign by the A55, and I immediately slam on the brakes. I’m not being fined by Marxists. Decelerating from 70mph to 20mph suddenly, I’m almost hit by the HGV behind which jack-knifes, overturns and blocks both carriageways. Already this policy is causing chaos.
The road signs say it’s 60 but I won’t be fooled. I’m crawling along, barely into the country, and it’s clear Wales’s motorists are furious with the imposition of this new policy. They’re breaking the law to pass me, shaking their fists and gesticulating their passionate support.
I pull off the main road onto one of the country lanes with which this crude country is riddled and continue at the pace imposed by their excuse for a government. Soon I find myself leading a go-slow convoy of protestors, all honking horns to show their opposition to this undemocratic imposition. They’re practically in open revolt.
Stopping in a town with too many Ls in its name for lunch, I realise I’ve barely penetrated this dark continent. To reach Aberystwyth would take a further 36 hours of driving. Soon those communities will run out of supplies and starve, all because Labour hates ordinary decent people.
The threadbare figleaf of an excuse for this limit is that cars travelling at 20mph cause far fewer injuries, so I’m outside a school to find out. But it also gives children far more time to hear my vehicle and jump out of the way, so my test is inconclusive one way or another before I hit a lamppost I hadn’t seen because I was so focused on the speedometer.
Fleeing on foot, I know I could easily escape the police – or Heddlu, as they’re termed in this primitive language – because they can’t drive faster than 20mph. But they flout their own laws, driving at upwards of 35mph to catch me. I’m charged with obstructing the highways and dangerous driving. The sheer hypocrisy of it when that’s their entire policy.