A CLEARLY disturbed man has chosen to wear full-length trousers rather than shorts, it has emerged.
Undeterred by the scorching temperatures currently blighting the nation, unbalanced maniac Tom Booker has voluntarily chosen to forego the rational choice of shorts and instead has both legs fully covered.
Disturbed onlooker Nikki Hollis said: “What does this f**khead think it is, this time last week?
“Shouldn’t a carer or someone be supervising him? They can be any shorts, not just stylish yet reasonably priced ones from M&S. Even an unsexy cargo pair would do. But jeans? Has he not heard this is a climate emergency?”
Martin Bishop said: “This is cruel, somebody should really step in to save the poor guy. If this was a dog locked in a hot car you wouldn’t hesitate to smash the windows to free it. This is the same thing.
“We should hold him down and forcibly strip him of his illegal leg coverings, then hoist them on a pole while hooting and hollering wildly. Anyone? I wouldn’t normally, but it’s this heat.”
Booker said: “I expect I’ll carry on like this until October then change into shorts. That should feel nice and bracing.”
