Joy of spring curtailed by remembering it pisses it down throughout

BRITAIN’S brief joy at the arrival of spring has ceased after remembering that it will rain solidly for two months of it. 

The arrival of lighter mornings and nights initially cheered the country, before the following days of torrential rain reminded everyone that spring is always like this.

Mary Fisher of Congleton said: “Oh yeah. That’s right. This is when it really gets cold.

“It’s nice that there are buds on the trees, obviously, and probably baby rabbits as well, but I haven’t really seen any of that because it’s too foul to leave the house.

“I wonder why I still think of spring as lovely flowing dresses and flowers blooming and fresh blue skies, when it’s uniformly freezing wind and heavy rain? Must have good marketing.

“Anyway, only a few months to go before summer. Ah, the long hot nights, the carefree days, baking in the July sunshine.

“Mmmm. Can’t wait.”