THE Lake District has gone right up itself since gaining World Heritage status, England’s other beauty spots have agreed.
The 912 square mile national park is the first in the country to receive the accolade, putting it alongside the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China and Machu Picchu, as it has been quick to remind everybody.
Nearby rival the Peak District said: “Christ. As if it wasn’t full of itself enough already.
“Do you know the shit I put up with about Wordsworth and Coleridge and Beatrix fucking Potter? And now it’s all acting like it’s on first-name terms with the pyramids of Giza.”
Canterbury Cathedral, a World Heritage Site since 1988, said: “I’ve been in continuous use for more than 1,400 years, rebuilt three times, survived earthquakes, fires, and Henry VIII, and I’m supposedly on the same level as some puddles in Cumbria?
“Three words, bitch: Barrow-in-Furness.
“World Heritage Shithole, more like.”