A PARTIAL eclipse of the sun is f**king nothing compared to the total one we had in 1999, an astronomer has confirmed.
Stargazer Bill McKay has revealed that partial solar eclipses are by far the least spectacular of all the cosmic alignments, and are the laughing stock of the scientific community.
McKay said: “You wouldn’t thank a waiter for partially bringing over some of your meal, yet here you are trying to get excited about nature doing a half-arsed job. It’s embarrassing.
“Back in 1999 we rightly lost our shit because the moon got in the way of the sun properly and made it night-time for two minutes. And even though we couldn’t see anything because of the cloud cover, it was still a big deal.
“You can tart this one up all you want by calling it the ‘Ring of fire’, but now it’s over you’ll be hugely disappointed. We’re not superstitious medieval peasants who think the world is coming to an end, so a massive non-event, really.
“Also your homemade pinhole projector makes you look like a f**king dick.”