Sweaty woman determined to wear winter coat

A WOMAN refusing to remove her winter coat despite it still being quite warm out is sweating like a pig, she has admitted. 

Donna Sheridan, aged 32, is also refusing to take off her thick scarf and pure wool Aran jumper, as they are all part of her winter look.

She said: “I’m not going back to my denim jacket now. I’d look a right dick.

“I’ve dug this coat out, I’ve cleared all the used tissues out of the pockets, I’ve washed it I’ve accessorised beautifully and I’m committed to wearing it despite feeling like I’m going to pass out on the train home.

“It should be cold by now. It’s October. The blogs all say I should be wearing a big coat with 550 fil goose down, and it’s far too bulky to carry.

“My body just needs to acclimatise, that’s all. It’s not my fault I’m running with sweat. It’s global warming’s.

“I’ll be alright, I’ll pop in Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte. That should cool me down.”

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Being on Facebook not a medical qualification, idiots told

OWNING a Facebook account does not mean you can give all your friends dodgy medical advice, doctors have warned.

The British Medical Association said having a social media profile is not the same as six years of medical school, however confident you feel about diagnosing ill people.

GP Tom Booker said: “We’re asking the public not to leap in with bullshit medical advice whenever a friend is unwell, such as telling them eating lots of cheese is good for migraines.

“On Facebook people constantly ask for advice and tell you their intimate medical problems, so we can see how users could become confused about not actually being a doctor.

“We’d also ask them to refrain from scaring people shitless, for example by convincing someone with a perfectly ordinary cold they’ve got Lassa fever.”

Facebook user and armchair medic Donna Sheridan said: “I can’t believe these so-called doctor idiots are trying to undermine my 11 years of medical training on Facebook.

“I told my friend Derek to keep using my favourite herbal remedies and I’m sure his appendicitis would have cleared up if they hadn’t rushed him to hospital.”