CONSERVATIONISTS have defended controversial plans to release 300 terminators into the wilds of Scotland.
The relentless cyborgs are expected to thrive in the barren landscape despite the absence of clothing and motorcycles. They will kill anyone they encounter.
Wildlife expert Stephen Malley said: “We were already going to repopulate the forests with lynxes, and maybe some wolves. So we thought fuck it, let’s throw in some terminators.”
But Thurso resident Wayne Hayes said: “I don’t know why they feel the need to tamper with nature this way, it’s like in 1998 when they introduced a pod of Godzillas just off the coast and all those ships went missing.”
The Scottish National Trust will assess the impact on the ecosystem of 300 muscular Austrian-sounding killing machines will have, and have mooted the idea of hiring a Predator to keep their numbers down.
Stephen Malley said: “The sight of a fully grown Cyberdinian, which is the less emotive term for terminators, running free across the heather bellowing its distinctive call of ‘Fuck you, asshole’ is quite breathtaking.”
