Subscribe

The moron's guide to noticing it's raining

DO you think the weather is a fascinating topic of conversation and not in fact f**king dull? Here’s how to point out that rain droplets are falling from the sky today.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

A guide to Israel, Northern Ireland and Bennifer for young people for who all this is new

WHY are Israel, Northern Ireland, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in the news again, and why do older people sigh wearily when asked? Read our FAQs.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›