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We ask you: has the closure of five miles of the M25 hit you hard?

FOR 57 whole hours an entire junction of the M25 has closed. Why must London always be the one that suffers? 

Eleanor Shaw, joiner: “It’s good this has had saturation media coverage. But I’m naturally forgetful, so I hope it’s mentioned several times an hour on every national radio show all weekend.”

Joanna Kramer, furniture flipper: “What people don’t realise is the M25 is circular, so just head in the opposite direction and you’ll be where you need to be soon enough.”

Norman Steele, bingo caller: “For this to happen in London of all places, which has no other transportation options.”

Hannah Tomlinson, airline mechanic: “Come Monday the entire thing will be housing.”

Lucy Parry, florist: “Anyone else feel like this is a golden opportunity to go down there for a midnight f**k in the overtaking lane?”

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Friend can remember your grebo phase

YOUR friend remembers that you used to have long greasy hair and listened to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and has the photos to prove it.

Longtime pal Tom Booker is not buying how you appear to have matured into a functional member of society because he can still recall how you proudly did nothing during your adolescence while wearing awful army surplus clothing.

He said: “Responsible office job, lovely wife and kids, five-star Uber rider rating? You’re not fooling me. I remember the real you.

“Cast your mind back to December 1989. A little four-piece called The Wonder Stuff were playing at the Aston Villa Leisure Centre. We were right there with tickets purchased with our dole money, or have you forgotten your roots?

“It was pre-grunge. Before all the Britpop bullshit. You were convinced that the Stourbridge sound was going to change music forever. Now look at you. I bet you don’t even remember Scum Pups.

“How can a man who said God Fodder was the best album of 1991 now have a sensible haircut and contents insurance? Were you faking it all along or did the pressures of adult life make you sell out?”

He added: “You used to be a grebo, man, but now you’re just a townie.”

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