IT’S never been easier to have food delivered to your door. Here’s what your choice of supermarket delivery service reveals about you.
Tesco is middle of the road
Nothing says anonymous suburbia like the arrival of a Tesco van. You know where you are with Tesco. Boring, drab Tesco. The Coldplay of supermarkets. Dropping off another truckload of meat and two veg to your dull cul-de-sac. Show some bollocks and at least try Sainsbury’s.
Ocado’s for snobs
Ordering from Ocado is the ultimate power move. A sign you must be doing well for yourself. Curtains will twitch as the driver brings out tray after tray of luxury goods. Corn-fed chicken. Quinoa. Baba ganoush. It’s so posh the delivery guy is probably called Tarquin and went to Harrow.
Asda’s for chavs
When an Asda van rolls onto your street you know where it’s headed. To the house with the old washing machine on the front lawn that plays dance music until 1am every weekend.
Amazon Fresh is for hipsters
Bezos is everywhere. If he’s not in space, he’s muscling in on Morrisons. Sure, Amazon is basically evil. But it’s so convenient. And you sometimes buy wonky veg from the farmer’s market. So it kind of evens out.
The Co-op is for psychos and old dears
Yes it is. Choosing the Co-operative to deliver very crap products instead of one of the big supermarkets essentially means you’ve either (A) old with creeping dementia or, (B) you’re a kind, old lady who has ‘shopped there since 1946.