Sunday, 27th September 2020

Cake for breakfast is fine, say experts

EXPERTS have confirmed that eating cake for breakfast is absolutely fine and should be encouraged. 

Nutritionists have agreed that with so many existing norms already overturned in 2020, it is past time to reject the outmoded idea that cake is unsuitable to be the first meal of the day.

Dr Helen Archer said: “Your taste buds are at their most receptive to new flavours as you wake up. So we recommend a caramel sponge or a big slice of yesterday’s lemon drizzle cake.

“Cake for breakfast is especially okay if the cake is buttery or fruity. This makes it almost identical to toast with jam, only set apart by minor details like shape, consistency and swathes of buttercream icing.

“A blueberry muffin is pretty much exactly the same as blueberries on top of some granola. Have it with a bit of yoghurt and it probably counts as healthy.

“Chocolate cake is borderline. It’s officially fine, of course, but it’s somehow a bit slutty. Maybe only do it if you’re not in company. Plus that way you won’t have to share it.”

But 47-year-old Tom Booker said: “This is just biased advice aimed at fat women. Cake for breakfast’s unhealthy. You should have loads of fried meat.”