THE discovery of a Maltesers wrapper in a kitchen bin has forced a six-year-old to interrogate her parents about its origins.
Lauren Hewitt, who found the offending wrapper carefully buried beneath used kitchen roll and a Ryvita packet, quickly pinpointed her parents as the guilty parties because she was given no Maltesers herself.
She said: “The evidence suggests one of them – or perhaps both – secretly scoffed it in the evening whereas I’d had to be content with an apple and a single chocolate digestive as pudding. Which is unfair.
“Chocolate isn’t for adults. Parents should be informed of this at the point of purchase, then have to store it openly in the treat cupboard where it would be available on request. Obviously I should get most of it because I’m a growing girl and do my reading.
“I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to find out who ate what was rightfully mine. Shine bright lights in their eyes, play good cop bad cop, bribe them, sleep deprivation, the works. And if all else fails I’ll throw a tantrum.”
Mum Emma said: “F**k, I’m busted. I’d better hide the Ben & Jerry’s under frozen bags of bolognese or the little bitch will have me bang to rights.”