A COUPLE have finally decided to call it a day after being unable to agree on whether eating out-of-date food is acceptable or utterly vile.
Donna Sheridan filed for divorce after husband Tom threw away an entire family pack of ham that had only been open for five days.
Sheridan said: “That ham was fine. Yes, it might say ‘Eat within two days once opened’ but no one is eating that much ham. Everyone knows they just put that on the label to make us buy more.
“He throws away loads of perfectly good food just because it smells a bit like rotten eggs or has mould on it, the pussy. As far as I’m concerned, if it’s not started crawling out of the fridge, it’s edible.”
Tom said: “I used to think it was cute how she’d scrape the layer of mould off the top of the jam instead of chucking it out. Now I realise it’s f**king disgusting and borderline lethal.
“I take my life in my hands every time it’s her turn to cook, so I’m forgoing death by salmonella in favour of being single.”