AFTER ploughing a mere fraction of the sweets she unwrapped this morning, a five-year-old is experiencing a monumental sugar rush long before the sun comes up.
After waking to find Santa had been, Lucy Parry discovered a treasure trove of confectionary in the stocking at the bottom of her bed and devoured them immediately as is her right.
Eight minutes later, feeling extraordinarily alive, she saw the trampoline possibilities of her bed as if for the first time, bellowing ‘Santa’s been!’ and racing up and down the landing as though completing a bleep test.
Chasing confirmation of the Christmas miracle that had visited overnight Lucy then burst into her parents’ room using only a fraction of the energy being processed by her tiny, overclocked metabolism.
Mother Donna said: “It’s like being woken up by an oncoming train.
“She won’t stop jabbering about Santa and his treats. I don’t think she can stop. That was meant to last her all day, not be demolished before dawn. She’s got sherbet all over her like an infant Scarface.”
Lucy said: “I’m riding this dragon to the stars, man. I ain’t ever gonna crash in front of Bluey and be sick.”