A MAN who describes himself as a ‘foodie’ is nothing but a greedy twat, friends have confirmed.
Stephen Malley has attempted to paint himself as a gastronomic expert when in fact he just likes eating and drinking more than is good for him.
Malley said: “I’m such a foodie. Whenever I see a new burger come out, or a new type of fried potato, I’ve got to try it. Pizza toppings are my speciality, but not ones that include vegetables.
“I’ve actually always dreamed of being a chef, but it turns out you have to learn stuff which is much harder than getting Deliveroo to bring tasty things direct to my door.”
Friends confirmed that despite his claim to be interested in food, Malley has never eaten cauliflower, considers prosciutto ‘weird’ and regularly buys cereal made for children.
Helen Archer said: “Eating all different kinds of junk food and calling yourself a ‘foodie’ is like w*nking all day and calling yourself Errol Flynn. The only thing Stephen has in common with the Hairy Bikers is that his arteries are in a very bad way.”