THE hardest part of going vegan during January is not being a complete and utter pain in the arse about it, it has emerged.
Veganuary participants agree that a lack of meal options or discovering that milk is in everything pales in comparison to the difficulty of not being a boring irritant about their diet.
Temporary vegan Josh Hudson said: “I fell off the wagon on day one when I whinged about the dryness of a Co-Op falafel wrap. On reflection, telling my girlfriend about it for a full 15 minutes was probably too much.
“And of course in the rare moments when you’re not hacked off with veganism, you drone on tediously about how much healthier you feel while meat-eaters are stuffing their bodies with toxic animal gunk.
“Getting through Veganuary without being annoying was so much easier when it didn’t exist. Back then you couldn’t complain that Greggs had sold out of vegan sausage rolls because they simply didn’t cater to us.
“Nowadays you can be a right misery about the blandness of your endless tinned tomato-based meals, the pressure to go full-time from hardcore vegans, and even the word Veganuary itself, which you’ve got to admit is pretty embarrassing.
“If only I wasn’t forced to do this every year by society and was instead free to make my own eating and lifestyle choices. A man can but dream.”