It has pictures on the menu, and other signs you're at the worst restaurant in town

ARRIVED in a new town and walked into the first place you’ve seen? Here are the warning signs that it’s the worst restaurant within a 20-mile radius.

There are pictures on the menu

Forgotten what an egg on toast looks like? If this restaurant isn’t confident that they can explain basic foodstuffs without showing you what it might look like, it’s going to be horrible.

No one else is in there

If every other restaurant in town is booked up and this is the only place that can get you in at a moment’s notice, you might be in the wrong place. Prepare for food poisoning.

The menu is in Papyrus

If the laminated menu is in a crap font like Papyrus, plus a bit of Word clip art, you will almost definitely find a hair or a fly in your soup.

It’s next to a better restaurant

Hedging their bets that the better restaurant will fill up quickly and that they can pick up the stragglers is classic shit-restaurant etiquette. Just walk a little further down the road next time.

It’s a weird take on ethnic cuisine done by white guys

A gastropub curry is one thing, but having literally no idea what slightly exotic cuisine is will make for an unpleasant meal. Expect an omelette served on a poppadum with HP Sauce.

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This is all Joe Biden's fault, says everyone actually responsible for it

THE events in Afghanistan are a tragedy and Joe Biden is to blame, according to all the people who directly caused them.

From other US presidents and the media to fanatical Taliban jihadis, everyone agrees the problem is fundamentally Biden.

A spokesperson for Donald Trump said: “Donald, who actually signed the withdrawal agreement with the Taliban, says this disaster is entirely on Biden’s shoulders and he always knows what he’s talking about. 

“Likewise the Taliban don’t go throwing blame about willy-nilly. They admit there’s no way they’d have done this if Joe wasn’t so old.”

The UK media has also confirmed that Biden caused the entire humanitarian disaster, and not George Bush, Tony Blair’s team, Rupert Murdoch, the arms industry, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. 

Meanwhile a Taliban spokesman said: “It’s this bloody Biden guy. Say what you like about Osama Bin Laden, he was a high-achiever in his chosen field. It’s ridiculous to say 9/11 had anything to do with it.

“Kamala Harris must surely shoulder some of the blame too.”