SUGAR, lemon and basic batter is all that’s needed for the perfect pancake. However, some people love to f**k around trying to be clever about it. Here are the worse ways to mess up Pancake Day.
Insist on a savoury course
Middle class parents who think their children will get scurvy if they eat one meal without a vegetable in it will insist on starting with a savoury course. That garlic mushroom stuffed monstrosity will make your kids too full to enjoy the nice ones, and therefore pissed off with you.
Attempt to make American-style pancakes
A fat stack of pancakes drenched in maple syrup sounds good but will make your stomach and teeth hurt after three mouthfuls. It’s not worth the hassle and somehow will never as good as seventeen flimsy, badly tossed and undercooked British ones.
Think you can make crêpes
Whilst American ones are too fat, the French style of pancake is some kind of wafer thin bullshit that is impossible to successfully make without a special pan and a huge amount of patience. However, you should steal the idea of smothering your pancakes in Nutella, because it’s delicious.
Let the kids help
What can go wrong if you decide to leave your children alone in the kitchen with a dozen eggs, a big bottle of milk and a very hot frying pan? Loads of stuff, so make sure you’ve got 999 on speed dial.
Make them gluten free
If you want to really balls up Pancake Day, tell your loved ones that you’ve suddenly discovered a gluten intolerance. They’ll hate grimly eating their way through a stack of grey, chewy discs made of chickpea flour, which you won’t allow them to put sugar on just for the fun of torturing them even further.