A METROPOLITAN daughter is terrorising her rural family by introducing them to continental Christmas food such as pannetone and stollen.
Lucy Parry, 26, arrived back at her family home last week with a selection of dry, international goods that have been received with suspicion and mistrust.
Father Roy Parry said: “Stollen? Is that the one that’s made of dry fruit and dry bread and dry icing sugar? Not a brilliant combo, that.
“I’ve forced a couple of pieces down so as not to seem like I’m being funny about it, but I feel like I’ve had a mouthful of sandpaper wrapped around marzipan.”
His wife Sheila Hollis was similarly unsettled by the authentic panettone from Italy, especially when she was instructed to spread butter on it.
She said: “I went to get the icing out because I thought they’d forgotten to do it in the shop, but apparently that’s how it’s supposed to be. And buttering a slice of cake? Madness. I’m glad we’ve left Europe.”
After an afternoon of culinary awkwardness, the family have now gone back to living entirely off Celebrations, Quality Street and mince pies.