A SOPHISTICATED Northern diner has asked to see the list of available sauces rather than just plump for the house red.
Roy Hobbs surprised Donna Sheridan with his cosmopolitan self-assurance when he took her out for a meal that didn’t come wrapped in newspaper.
Sheridan said: “I didn’t expect Roy to be so classy but rather than just asking for tomato ketchup he insisted on seeing the sauce list and then talked me through it, explaining all the regions and flavours.
“To compliment my cheese and ham toastie, he said a dollop of full-bodied HP would pair well with the savouriness of the meat, and a dash of spicy Worcestershire would enhance the piquancy of the cheddar. Which it did, exquisitely.
“Roy chose a light garlic mayonnaise to accompany his haddock and chips. The waiter asked if he’d like to sample the sauce, and placed a blob on the end of his little finger. Roy tasted, then approved. It was all rather erotic.
“I had a lovely time. Roy was charming and considerate, and I found his confidence with sauces arousing. Unfortunately, though, we didn’t kiss because his garlic breath was rank and being anywhere near him made me physically heave.”
