MOST group visits to a restaurant include some git who wants to have a bit of other people’s meals, research has confirmed.
The Institute for Studies found that scrounging titbits was a calculated move designed to get a large variety of tasty food without paying.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “They’ll preface the meal by saying ‘We can all try a bit of each other’s!’. That’s a deliberate ploy to soften you up for pinching your king prawns.
“If you object, for example quite reasonably saying, ‘No, fuck off and eat your own food’ they’ll stigmatise you as a horrible non-sharer.
“Everyone will mock you, despite secretly wanting to eat all the food they ordered for themselves. It’s hard to say who’s worse, the food thief or these spineless hypocritical scum.
“When the dishes arrive, the food sharer will try a bit of everyone’s, but if you try theirs they’ll already have a plan in place and go ‘Ooh, don’t take the best bit of meat!”.
“The only solution is to order something horrible, like a plate of boiled liver with a raw cooking apple for dessert, but that can put a bit of a downer on the meal.”