AS part of their latest line of Christmas beverages, Starbucks have announced a coffee that mimics the taste of an entire roast ham.
Coming hot on the heels of other festive favourites such as eggnog latte, the coffee chain is confident people will want to force a disgusting drink down their throats simply because it is December.
Marketing director Sophie Rodriguez said: “The Christmas Hamuccino deliciously infuses our finest coffee with the rich, meaty taste of roasted pig flesh. And it’s all topped with sweet whipped cream, crackling dust and a drizzle of mustard syrup.
“It’s utterly vile but we’ve discovered that consumers will pay through the nose for anything if it contains a shitload of sugar and comes in a cup with a reindeer on it. Exploiting thick people with too much disposable income is an excellent business model, it turns out.”
Customer Jack Browne, who sampled the Christmas Hamuccino, said: “F**k me, that’s disgusting. It’s like someone threw up in a cup on Boxing Day.
“I’ll still spend a grand total of £139 on these over the course of the next month though. It is Christmas, after all.”