Sunday, 9th August 2020

The posh shopper's guide to buying food on the cheap

STRUGGLING to feed your family in these difficult times? Luckily consumer expert and posh shopper Susan Traherne is here to help with some detached-from-reality tips.

Use the reduced section in the supermarket

This bargain tuck is great value, so buy lots and have a nutritious family meal consisting of a bowl of broken Nice biscuits each. Discount milk is also a great source of cheap cheese if you leave it out in the sun for a bit, I imagine.

Just eat potatoes

My research tells me that fresh potatoes are always more affordable than frozen chips. All you have to do is buy some seasoning and fancy oils to give them some flavour, then spend hours scrubbing off the soil, peeling and chopping them. You’ve got time to spare, right?

Budget, budget, budget

People like me love to condescendingly tell you to budget as if that generates money in itself. Just make sure you don’t spend your carefully rationed pennies on processed rubbish, even if it’s lower in price and easier to prepare. It’s a bit common. (Obviously posh foods like duck liver pate do not count as processed food.)

Reduce your daily meals

One way to cut the cost is to cut the number of meals. Do you really need to have breakfast and lunch every single day? And seeing as Boris wants us all to slim down you’ll be killing two birds with one stone.

Experiment with ‘food alternatives’

Have you tried eating clothes or Amazon boxes? There’s little scientific research on their nutritional value, but it’s worth a shot. We’re living through unprecedented times after all, so try poaching your old computer mouse in white wine and garlic.