‘What vegans want is more pretend blood in their food’

CREATORS of a vegetarian burger that ‘bleeds’ are confident that meat-hating vegans are going to love it.

The meat-free burger, made mostly from beetroot and broken dreams also contains gristle made from avocado.

Vegan blood burger manufacturer, Dave Howard said: “Our goal was to give vegans all the benefits of eating a dead animal but without any of the guilt.

“We are even working on a plant-based red ‘meat’ that still increases the risk of heart disease and a quorn steak that quietly ‘moos’ when you slice it.”

Vegan, Emma Howard said: “When I went vegan I assumed I’d never enjoy bleeding flesh again so this is a dream come true.

“On the other hand – what the fuck?”