Woman gets fancy Easter egg instead of the bucket of Flakes she wanted

A WOMAN has been let down by her boyfriend’s gift of a small, expensive dark chocolate Easter egg instead of a big cheap one that absolutely does the business. 

Helen Archer was given the 70 per cent organic cocoa solids egg, which rested on a sheet of chocolate gold leaf, by partner Stephen Malley and immediately noted that it was not very large.

She then realised that it contained no tray of chocolates, nor was it accompanied by up to six chocolate bars.

She said: “When I said ‘let’s get each other proper eggs this year’ I meant the one that’s basically a bucket full of Flakes, not this bollocks.

“Still, though it’s only small, it’s that chocolate that’s not very nice, so it’ll last longer. That’s probably why they do it. Oh, I see there’s ginger in the shell. Lovely.

“Lads, here’s a bit of advice. If it’s got fancy patterns or gold spray or a bow around it or it’s smaller than your head, fuck it off.”