A WOMAN vomiting due to food poisoning has reassured her waitress that her food was absolutely delicious and there was nothing wrong whatsoever.
In between retching into a potted plant, Emma Howard reiterated that there was no problem with her meal and gave her compliments to the chef through what she hoped was a winning bile-flecked smile.
She continued: “Urrp, I knew that chicken wasn’t cooked properly from the first bite. But the waitress was there and it’s so embarrassing being that person who complains.
“I’d feel so self-conscious bringing it up. Like when they served me a crab cake starter instead of the brie I ordered, and even though I’m allergic to shellfish I thought hives all over my body were better than making a fuss.
“And we were there an hour before they served us, and I saw a rat run out of the kitchen, but we’d already ordered drinks and I didn’t want to seem rude.
“I’d rather the earth swallow me whole than have to draw attention to myself by implying there was some kind of issue with the food. But I won’t be leaving a very large tip.”
Waitress Lauren Hewitt said: “She’s a much better customer than the guy who screamed at me because he didn’t like the colour of the wallpaper. I love working with the public.”