A WOMAN who gained access to the toilets at Starbucks without a purchase has been recruited by the UK’s security services.
Carolyn Ryan’s initiative in securing a safe place to urinate with no £4.30 cappuchino buy to cover her has seen her immediately made a domestic espionage agent, with a licence to kill only a formality.
She said: “Yeah. I mean obviously not everyone could do this.
“There’s a range of techniques – waiting for someone else to leave then sneaking in, claiming you’re waiting for a friend, simply trying 1234 – but fortune favours the bold.
“With desperation and a weak bladder on my side, I went for it. Asked for the code. Didn’t even have a cover story ready. If I’d been blown it would all be over, but it went like clockwork.
“When I left I was contacted by an MI5 recruiter. They want me to spearhead operations against Russia. I’m pushing for China. Want to get where the action is.”
Starbucks barista Mary Fisher said: “I honestly don’t give a shit. I give anyone the code.”