THE CHILDREN of a 65-year-old woman are celebrating her years of selfless love by not going to see her this Mother’s Day.
Eleanor Shaw’s children have been in touch to say the best gift they can give her is no coronavirus which is why they all plan to ‘probably’ call her instead of visiting.
Shaw’s eldest son, Martin, said: “The best way to show Mum some love is to remind her that, at her age, she is one infected door handle away from certain death.
“We’ll lovingly tell her she’s not to leave the house for at least six months, and there’s no way we’re going to risk endangering her health by visiting her for the next year. It’s sad, but on the plus side it will really free up my weekends.
“I didn’t get round to sending a card but apparently the virus can live for up to a day on cardboard so I’ve probably saved her life, which is definitely how I’ll explain it when I send her a special Mother’s Day Whatsapp.”
Shaw said: “This is my favourite one since having children. No homemade cards, no thoughtless presents, and best of all, no kids. Happy f**king Mother’s Day to me.”