THE advice of scientists in regard to receiving a Covid vaccination booster can be summed up as ‘just f**king get it’.
The many variables involved in receiving a booster, including age and pre-existing conditions, can be ignored by most people because they boil down to ‘just f**king get it when you’re told and stop bloody whingeing’, according to the UK’s vaccine advisory body.
Dr Helen Archer said: “Do you need to know the ins and outs of how we’re getting more doses into people’s arms? No. Just turn up when you get invited, sit in a chair and let someone jab you. It’s not f**king hard.
“We’ll explain to the prime minister how the booster scheme will work with the help of glove puppets, but honestly this is just a professional courtesy. We’re going to go ahead with it anyway even if he doesn’t understand it, which he won’t.
“Do you ask for the manufacturer of your tetanus jab? Do you weigh up different antibiotics when you’ve got an ear infection? No. So stop pissing us about with this.
“All you need to know is: we’ve made a miracle drug, we’re giving it to you for free, and it doesn’t track your movements through microchips. That’s what your phone’s for.”
She added: “Oh yeah, and wear a mask. Otherwise people will think you’re one of the Piers Corbyn mob.”