Are you drinking enough water? No, but take our test anyway

ARE you drinking enough water? Of course not. Doctors or fitness experts or whatever recommend you drink at least 18 litres of water a day. But why not take our test to confirm it? 

How much water do you realistically estimate you drink in a day?

A. About eight or nine litres. There doesn’t seem to be time to drink more.
B. Five cups of coffee, three cans of Sprite, and a bottle of wine.

Do you ever feel dehydrated?

A. No because I drink water constantly. I’m answering this between swigs.

B. Is that not what movie stars’ publicists say when they’re in rehab for drug addiction? I thought that was what it was. What, they just needed water?

What colour is your urine? 

A. Almost clear but not quite as crystal clear as precious, wonderful water, which proves I need to drink more water.
B. Urine-coloured.

How much do you spend each week on bottled water? 

A. Approximately 80 per cent of my income. I know, I know, it’s not enough, I still don’t have skin like the supermodels.
B. Like, the water you get from the taps at home?

ANSWERS

Mostly As: you are trying, but you still don’t drink enough water. When you die you’ll only have yourself to blame.

Mostly Bs: you will never see the end of your mortgage. Get your affairs in order for your heirs. Don’t say you weren’t warned.