Brain damage is absolutely the point, explain cannabis users

CANNABIS users have explained the brain damage they suffer is the only thing that gets them through the same episode of Friends for the 12th time.

A study found that regular smokers damage the connections in their brains just so they can enjoy playing a Call of Duty map they have played a thousand times before.

Joseph Turner, from Warrington, said: “When you can’t can’t follow a Steven Seagal movie and spend 20 minutes looking for the lighter in your hand, you know it’s not making you, you know… smarter.

“Are people watching the Midsomer Murders unstoned? What a shame.”

Dr Mary Fisher said: “Potent cannabis makes the brain’s white matter less efficient, so users can have difficulty following complex thoughts.

“Alcohol, on the other hand, affects a broader range of grey matter functions including movement, speech, judgement and memory.

“You should always use both.”