Britain demands obesity study that says it’s fine

BRITAIN has admitted it is sick of studies linking obesity with poor health and would like one with a more positive outlook.

As yet another major study linked obesity – on a sliding scale – with disease, death and poor sexual prospects, Britain’s 19m overweight people have asked when it is their turn for good news.

Bill McKay, from Peterborough, said: “Boozers are always getting headlines about how a bottle of red a week’s wonderful for the heart. Salt and statins have one story recommending them for every two saying they kill you.

“But for those of us with a healthy appetite it’s relentless gloom. Only filthy, horrid smokers have it worse.”

He added: “Let’s see a headline that says ‘Fat people friendlier’. Or ‘Obesity makes you float better’.

“Or what about ‘People who do loads of exercise always getting injured’.”