Couple who spent their 20s guzzling ecstasy ban toxic cleaning products from home

A COUPLE who would take anything going for at least a decade now refuse to have any ‘harmful’ chemicals in their house.

Tom and Jo Logan, who used to gurn their way through every weekend, have now made their home a toxin-free environment to minimise their exposure to ‘damaging free radicals’.

Jo said: “Chemicals are everywhere. Even toilet paper has phthalates in which disrupt endochrine production, so why risk it?

“You’re putting unknown and potentially hazardous substances into your system, and for what?

Tom agreed: “We have both noticed an improvement in our skin and in our general sense of wellbeing, and nowadays we wake up feeling fresh and relaxed. That’s a big difference.

“I think it would shock people to know how dangerous a lot of so-called ‘acceptable’ household products are. It sickens me to think of them being used to cut our coke.”

Friend Joanna Kramer said: “The flat used to be a haze of weed, but now they clean everything with baking soda and vinegar and it smells like a chip shop.

“Chemicals do fuck you up. They are living proof.”

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Board game night turns weird, then ugly

A NIGHT of board gaming exposed to friends to how weird and, ultimately, how unpleasant they all actually are. 

The five friends chose a night of good, clean competitive fun instead of the pub but then spent the evening facing uncomfortable truths and angry recriminations.

Nikki Hollis said: “I knew Dan was an overly competitive prick, but I didn’t realise he was a cheat. Come on. No way has he heard of Frieda Kahlo.

“And Trivial Pursuit was a bad choice for Maria right now. But how were we to know her last boyfriend dumped her because she thought the moon was the sun at night?

“Pictionary totally gave away that Sean and Carol are shagging, and Monopoly is always a bad idea but in this political climate? Yeesh.

“Okay, I shouldn’t have punched Dan for being an ‘bullshit libertarian arsehole’ but come on. I was pushed to the limit.”

Hollis added: “Never again. Better to just stick with getting pissed and talking bollocks.”